Now,
I can't speak much about what's been going in my life recently thats been interesting, but what I can do is share an embarrassing story from my day. Hopefully, you can learn a thing or too, or at least be entertained.
Here goes.
Picture it, it's a normal day. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, you don't want to kill yourself. All's good. then BAM! everything goes to hell. That's pretty much how my day went.
So I'm babysitting for this new family, right? The parents are at parent-teacher conferences and should be back in less than an hour. Piece of cake, right? yeah no WRONG.
Can you tell how agitated I am about all of this? If not, then just keep reading.
So the parents leave. And then the little boy starts crying. His mom had mentioned that he was still super attached to her and would start crying after they left, so I was expecting it. I try to comfort him but oh no, he bawls even harder as I try and get closer to him and then runs up to his room and slams the door in my face. He wouldn't let me open it and kept crying even harder. Glad to know that people's first reactions when they see me is to burst into tears and run and hide -.-
Fast forward 10 minutes, and lots of coaxing, but hey, the kid's finally out. We play some hide-and-seek, and the little girls devilishly good at hiding, and I'm too big for all the good hiding places. It wasn't a fair game if you ask me. But then again, no one is.
Hide-and-seeks gets boring, or counting to twenty gets too difficult; either way we decide to color. Fun, right? Kids do it all the time. Oh, have I mentioned this is my first time ever with these kids? Keep that in mind for this next part.
So we color, and we color, and we have our markers, and our pastels, and our glitter pens, and everything since Crayola was pretty much invented, when the girl says she needs to use the restroom. No biggie. She does her biz, and we color again. We have the colored pencils, and the jelly pens, and the pastels and....
And then all hell breaks loose.
Did I mention we're still coloring? Apparently it takes a long time to color a picture of a princess, even if you're not staying within the lines?? So anyway, I look over, and water is literally seeping out the bottom of the door. I drop what I'm doing, yank the door open, and immediately step into the biggest puddle of toilet water imaginable. The toilet is flooding. And it's not even slowing.
Everything's wet.
And it keeps overflowing.
There aren't any towels.
And it keeps overflowing.
There's no goshdang plunger in any of the three fricken bathrooms in the house!!!!
And it keeps overflowing.
Little girl is crying because she thinks it's her fault. It's really not.
And it keeps overflowing.
Boy slips in puddle. Starts crying too, because his pants are wet.
And it keeps overflowing.
I start freaking and ripping my hair out.
And it keeps overflowing, because apparently it wasn't going to be done until the entire reservoir for Lexington was utterly drained.
So, no one was picking up my calls and text messages. I have two crying kids, an overflowing bathroom, and no plunger. Shoot me. But please, not before I get my gold medal for best babysitter of the year. Anyone who wants an autograph, I'm sure I'll have plenty of spare time, ya know, now that I've been blacklisted on all the nanny blogs and whatnot.
Then, as if it couldn't get any worse, what happens? It fricken gets worse. The flooding is so bad, it's now seeping through the ceiling and into the basement. So now I've got two puddles, two crying kids, and what would surely be two angry parents to deal with. Again, I'll take that gold medal any time now....
I think about calling 911, but that's stupid and they'd just laugh in my face. They're rude like that sometimes... I do the only logical thing I can think of in my panic ridden moment of hysteria and *CAUTION DISTURBING IMAGE* I stick my hand right in the toilet bowl and try to pull the clog out. Yeah....it was stupid. Yeah....I learned my lesson. Yeah....I boiled my hand for hours after I got home.
The next part is so traumatizing that I still haven't recovered from it. To summarize, because I don't think I can bear going into detail, what happened was pretty much this: I ran to the neighbor's house asking for their plunger, but instead, when they hear how bad it is, I steal them away from their comfortable and clean smelling home into the toilet hell hole that was occurring across the street. They shut off the water, and then we start cleaning up the mess. Most of the damage hit the downstairs because of course, right underneath the bathroom and the leakage is a huge lamp and its seeping out of it's sides so profusely that I worry I am going to screw up the electricity for this poor family. Boy, they had no idea what they were signing up for when they hired me.
So then, the parents walk in right as we're cleaning up. Can you say awkward enough times?? They were shocked, sure, but they weren't pissed. Thank god, because I probably would have started crying right there in their living room.
How is it that one 5-foot, 90-pound girl can cause so much damage in the span of half and hour?
My life... It's like it's one big sickening joke, that just exists to make other people laugh.
I hope you guys laughed at least.
Cuz I sure wasn't at the time.
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