Meaning of Life / Statement

Everybody is constantly talking about 'macro' - the big picture. Of the world, of life, of dreams, aspirations, your hopes and wants. But the simple fact is that I don't know.

I don't know. 

I have no idea what my life will shape out to be. Sure, I can imagine and dream of what I would one day like my life to be but the truth is that in most cases events don't go as planned. I was taught that lesson this year, in a very bitter fashion. I was disappointed and upset and sulking; in fact, I still have not recovered and to be frank, I'm not quite sure I ever will 100%.

But that is not the point; the point I'm attempting to make is that there is always uncertainty, as well as failure and success and surprises. In that sense, is there ever a big picture?

That doesn't mean you shouldn't set goals for yourself however. In fact I believe that one needs to set goals in order to have a purpose. Otherwise, for what end are you working. Life needs to have substance and purpose, otherwise that time spent will soon be lost.

I spent the entirety of my four years of high school planning how I will get out of Kentucky, how far away I'll go, where I'll go, all these different adventures I'll have, how amazing college will be, but most importantly, how I will not be attending the University of Kentucky. Yet, by some twisted fate, none of that panned out I will in fact be attending UK for the next four years. At first I was crushed -- like I said, I still am. But the more I keep thinking about it I ask myself what the point is. I'm not going to change anything. I just have to accept the fact that no matter how aggressively I had planned and pushed for this different future I envisioned for myself, it didn't happen.

At least, for the time being.

That is one of the main things I need to learn to accept, and what I have the most trouble with. Coming to terms with things has never been a strong suit of mine, but I believe that being capable of that is something everyone should be capable of in order to succeed in this world. It will come in handy when you're not accepted to your dream school, when you're not hired for a job you wanted, when a relationship goes sour, anything. The instances to which this could be implied are infinite. And because of that, the importance of being able to move on is weighed even more heavily.

I thought with all of my heart that I would be moving away next year. I thought that was what was meant for me, to go out and experience the world. But just because it won't happen next year doesn't mean it can't happen ever.

I don't know what the Meaning of Life is. It is such an intimate and personal topic that no general umbrella or rule can be attributed to everyone. But what I do know is, now more so than ever, is that we're not meant to be planning the 'macro' and putting all of our eggs in its basket. We need goals to work towards in order to give our lives purpose, but we can not be so focused on shaping our lives a certain way that we miss valuable things along the way, or are crushed if it doesn't work out. I've always had a problem with impulsively investing all of myself in something - anything - and always prematurely. I believe in this: we are here to experience everything that life has to offer; to take pleasure in the present; to not stress about the past or worry about the future; to take advantage of any and all possibilities; to not be naive and miss something right in front of us; to make mistakes and learn from them. We are here on this earth to be ourselves, and hopefully leave a piece of ourselves behind each time we move on to a different stage in our lives. All that's left for me is live by this, and never forget that there is always a reason for things.